Mom and more Mom

My attempts at being a single parent are probably...well, you would laugh if you knew how I run things in my home.

I think I went from controlling the universe stay at home mom to just give me some peace mom. I'm not saying I let my kids do anything they want.

But since the divorce, they do a lot of things I never use to let them do.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just because they're older? Or if I've just learned to let go a little.

We've recently started "Family Reading Night." It comes about once a week. Everyone gets to pick a book and they get to read it out loud to the family. Instead of tv, or video games, we sit around and read out loud. This is really really super good for my two little ones. Jolie only learned to read this year and she is already reading at a 3rd grade level. Kaitlyn is an amazing story teller. She has such expression in her voice and intuitively knows

how to create inflections in her tones and words to spin any boring story into something amazing. I love our times of 'family'. I wish we had done more of this before the divorce.

We also sit down to dinner together. I didn't realize how important this was to my kids until I didn't do it for a couple of nights. Instead I set them up in the living room with a movie while I cleaned another room. They protested after a couple of nights that dinner at the table was more important than cleaning or a movie. :)

We're a family.

We do look different than we did a year ago.

But we're a family.

There is nothing more precious than making time to listen to your kids, or have them talk to you about what they're thinking about. They're only small for such a short time...then it's gone.

I don't know how to tell them sometimes how much I love them. How they mean so much to me. I don't know how to thank my kids and help them understand that they saved my life. I don't know that they can ever really grasp how different their mom's life would be without them. I'm so changed because of who they are in my life. Words just aren't enough.